Real Truth The True
by taratron
Summary: Other voices speak. Do you hear?


Real Truth The True  
by Taratron

I think it's gone all wrong sometimes. No...I know it does, and sometimes should be every day. Or once every two days.

It's not that my life here is bad. It is not like the others torment me, or would experiment on me while I sleep. It's not like I can't handle the rat making comments about being a Predacon, or Optimus watching me closely some times. I handled Megatron, this ape is putty in comparison. It's not like it is so bad here.

I admit it then. Silverbolt is. I don't mean that he's cruel, or that he's evil, that he uses me for his own purposes. But I am using him for mine.

He was the one to profess love over and over again. I wonder if he ever caught that I never quite said it back. I might have smiled or leaned on him or acted all weak so he could be all strong, which made him feel important and powerful, that he was protecting me.

He does protect me, of course. I was never afraid of Megatron, of Inferno, of Waspinator. Tarantulas was another story. The mind-rape was one thing. Knowing he was around the Darkside daily, trying to relink our minds, was another. Controlling me for his own wants is another.

Megatron could not protect me from him. Megatron, then again, didn't know about the link. I was not about to tell him, he might have said I deserved it for going against him with that stasis pod escape idea. But it's hard to tell. No, no one in the Predacons could protect me. Quickstrike might have tried, but Tarantulas could always run circles around him.

The only other place to turn was the Maximals. If Tarantulas got a hold of my mind again, chances were I would not escape, or even have the chance to. So when Silverbolt began his courting, urging me to leave the Predacons, I listened. It was never love. It was need, it was desperation to escape from Tarantulas.

But I still needed more proof. For Silverbolt, only one Maximal against the rest, to proclaim I would be safe from the 'tyranny of Megatron,' when Megatron was never the problem (not that I was loyal to him, but I certainly had more respect for him than ANY of those Maximals), was not enough. I needed them all to grant me asylum, in a term. Silverbolt was the only way to escape Tarantulas.

I put up a fight, of course, naturally, mostly because I wanted to insure Bonebrain wouldn't deceive me. The sad thing is he is not, but I am. I might have been a Maximal protoform, but I'll always be a Predacon, no matter what I say or whose symbol I wear. Silverbolt doesn't get that, and I won't tell him again. I have a safe haven now, and these Maximals protect me better simply because of the strength in numbers. I could stand against Tarantulas, but not forever. With Silverbolt at my back, I can at least fall with grace. He won't let Tarantulas kill me, or remake that link. So living with the Maximals and letting this wolf Fuzor believe I'm his 'beloved' isn't such a bad price to pay.

It's not that I miss the Predacons that much. Waspinator was an idiot, Inferno was insane, and Quickstrike, well, he might have been a little odd, but he was loyal and the only one I liked as a friend. Had there been more time, and safety, at Darkside, it might have been more. Whereas the Maximals...Optimus does not trust me, Rhinox does not care, the rat won't shut up, DepthCharge could care less what happens to me, the cat is sniffing around me all the time, as though I should be *his* beloved, and Silverbolt...well, you already know that.

I suppose in time I can grow to love him, or at least care somewhat. I do like the fact he is keeping me from that mind-link, but he only does that because he wants me as a Maximal, as his beloved. His words are sweet, his presents and presence are nice, but at the same time, it is a mask he loves, a widow who smiles and pretends to lack her hourglass and fangs now that she's wearing a Maximal symbol.

Only time will tell. And who will win the war too. I know if Megatron wins, I'll be executed. Silverbolt will most likely get killed trying to stop that. Funny how I think about that victory calmly. It doesn't scare me.

Of course, it's a GOOD mask. Every Maximal makes comments to himself, I'm certain, about the Predacon bitch who was reformed by the valiant Maximal hero. I'm sure they are glad I'm with them, somewhat. Perhaps glad Silverbolt is so happy now, dancing on air, that no words they say about me affect his feelings for me. That's love, they certainly think. That's real true love, and it's true that he loves me. Everyone knows that.

What is also true, but no one knows...is that this is not real true love, but real true need. And somehow, in the darkest part of my core, I think that even if they knew, they wouldn't believe me...or care.

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